


Journals to Satele

by Fumm95



Series: Morning Glory (Jace Malcom & Satele Shan) [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic
Genre: Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Letters, Mother-Daughter Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-27
Updated: 2016-02-29
Packaged: 2018-05-23 14:58:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6120063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fumm95/pseuds/Fumm95
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"There was no trace of Tasiele on the planet except for her cliffside dwelling and a set of journals dedicated to her daughter Satele." -SWTOR Encyclopedia.</p>
<p>An interpretation of the contents of these journals left for Satele.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Journal 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to incorporate these journals into stories about Satele and Jace, only to discover that there's literally no canonical mention of what's actually written in them. Naturally, I decided to write my own.

Satele,

I cannot imagine what age you will be when - if - this ever makes it into your hands, but I know I will have missed far too many years of your life by then. That I have already missed far too many years of your life.

As I am sure you are fully aware, the Jedi Order and the Republic have left me here for daring to believe that the Jedi Code, that the commandment on no attachments, might be erroneous, that attachments may be a source of strength rather than weakness. They exiled me here for committing what I am sure in their minds is blasphemy, and what I am sure they are also drilling into you and every child in the Order.

You are my daughter, my darling Satele, and the blood of both Bastila Shan and Revan himself runs through your veins. Never forget that. I have no doubt that you are powerful in the Force, perhaps powerful enough to rival them. Even as a newborn, I could sense your presence, clearer than anything I have I felt. Even as I write this, I can sense your absence, but I trust that you are well. The Jedi would not give up a powerful Force-user such as yourself so easily, not when they could simply engrain within you their beliefs.

But I should not be so bitter about the Jedi. There are many good men and women among them, doing good things for the galaxy. It is the Order that is wrong, not the people within them. But that is a discussion for another time.

You are doubtless wondering why I have written this for you, why an exiled Jedi Knight, forced from the Order for her heresy, would reach out to another Jedi in such a manner. But you are still my child, regardless of our status as Jedi, and I hope only to do as a mother ought, even from across this distance.

I only hope in time that you will come to understand.

-Tasiele Shan


	2. Journal 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tasiele muses about Satele and the source of her beliefs.

Satele, **  
**

As I write this, I am curled up against the rock face that I have made my new home, listening to waves lash out against the cliff below me, a raw, inspiring sound that reminds me of my choices, of my belief in my choices, which I hope to, if not impress upon you, then at least open your eyes to.

Every hour, I cannot help but wonder what you are doing. Whether your training has begun, whether you are making friends with the other initiates. Whether you are getting the care and concern that a child deserves, regardless of whether or not she is Force-sensitive. I can only hope that your masters are compassionate and treat you with respect.

But I write not only to muse upon our separation. In my years as a Jedi, in my interactions with the galaxy, I have seen and learned much, knowledge that the Jedi close their ears to. And yet even the Code says “there is no ignorance, there is knowledge.” I can only hope that by writing you this, I may yet help spread this, to sow understanding in the face of ignorance and fear.

The Order has long claimed that the Jedi Code has been universal, has always been so. I am sure you have had it drilled into you many times by now. And yet, it has been warped over the years, from the times of the First Jedi and the original Force Wars. Among the ruins from an older time, there have been hints at an older Code, a more balanced Code. A Code which urges understanding, which preaches balance, with our emotions and with ourselves.

A Code that the Jedi Order would be content to just as soon forget.

And a Code, my dear Satele, that I hope you can remember in the times to come.

-Tasiele Shan


	3. Journal 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tasiele shares a brief glimpse of the future and some advice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't remember if I've mentioned Miupra by name before but as far as I can tell, the planet Tasiele was exiled to is unnamed in canon, so I named it, incorporating the little we were told about it into this.

Satele,

I have found that the endless monotony, the time spent alone on Miupra, with little to do other than the basics required for survival, has lent itself well to countless hours of meditation and reflection upon my actions and beliefs, which is what I am sure the Order has intended. But they would be disappointed to know that I do not repent. My only regret, my dear, is not being around in any capacity for you. I do not know that the Jedi would allow me to see you regularly or help in your care, but I would at least be more of a presence than a conspicuous absence.

But dwelling on regrets will not change the past and I am not writing to leave such sad thoughts.

In my meditations, I have seen glimpses of the future you have in store for you, my darling girl, of the struggles you will face. Of both pain and joy. And I regret that I will not be able to provide any guidance, that I cannot be more than just a figure from your past, a gentle reminder of what may be should you choose to pursue it.

Satele, the galaxy will be thrown into chaos and you, my daughter, will be instrumental in the struggle to come. I do not know the exact source or the outcome, but I do know that you must trust yourself, to believe in those around you. To follow your heart. To remember that there is strength in peace and serenity, but also in emotion. In compassion and joy and love.

Keep this in mind as you continue forward, and may it bring you comfort and strength and happiness.

-Tasiele Shan


	4. Journal 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tasiele's time is drawing to a close, but there are a few things she still wants to say before the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want extra feels, please listen to [Barber's Adagio for Strings](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KylMqxLzNGo) while reading this. I may have gotten teary-eyed listening to it while writing.

Satele,

It has been many long years since I have last seen you, a mere baby in the arms of the Jedi caretakers. By now, you have long since passed the age when you are old enough to become a Padawan, will have been assigned a Master to guide you in preparing for your trials. How I wish I could see you as a Padawan, preparing for your trials, or at the ceremony that names you a full-fledged member of the Order, as I am sure you will become.

But alas, I have lived on Miupra for too long already, have meditated and seen my own end swiftly arriving. I know that the Jedi are coming with the intention to end my exile and allow my return to the folds of the Jedi Order, but will not arrive before I become one with the Force. Not in time for me to see you again.

Ahhh, I fear I have become melancholy in the imminent arrival of my own passing. I do not grieve, my darling Satele, and I do not expect you will either, not for a mother you barely know, and I hope you feel no guilt for this fact, not when it is through no fault of your own. It is only what the Force has decided for us, the lives that we have chosen to lead. The truth that I have chosen to accept.

I only hope that the Jedi will respect a mother’s last wishes and allow these to be delivered to you in private, so that you may learn and perhaps understand me a little better. I do not wish for you to be swayed in either way, but to accept the knowledge I impart and not let anybody tell you how to live your own life. With that, I will be content.

You have a long and difficult road ahead of you, my darling girl, but I know that you will face it head-on with strength and perseverance. My only wish is that you will accept the happiness that the Force chooses to grant you as well, as I know it will, and remember that no matter what happens, I am proud of you.

May the Force be with you, always.

Your mother,

Tasiele Shan


End file.
